I Quit Drinking. Well, For a Little While
Do you ever get a little annoyed by the people who seem to announce everything they’re doing on social???
I don’t mean to be judgmental about it. But I do tend to find myself rolling my eyes at the big declarations made about things someone won’t be doing and for how long. It seems like the bigger deal they make about the quitting the faster they’ll be right back to using/doing/indulging in whatever it is they’re so theatrically claiming to give up.
Don’t get me wrong. I get it. I get that people crave the encouragement. Or think that some accountability will help them actually stop whatever the vice is. I just can’t help but thinking to myself.. if you’re going to quit, or start, or leave, just do it! No need to declare it online. The action is more powerful than your declaration ever will be.
And that’s exactly what I decided to do when I wanted to cut back on drinking. I just did it. Instead of announcing to the world, only to be reminded with every comment and like of the very thing I was wanting to rid myself of, I just rid myself of it. I didn’t even tell Husband until a few days in.
For myself, the more I want to announce my actions to the world, the more I want to declare this big thing I will be accomplishing, the more I know I’m not going to stick with it. Whether it’s cutting something out or starting a regular routine of a healthier habit. If I feel the need to announce it, I know that the decision is still based in shoulds and not based in what my heart wants.
Doing something just because you should is never going to build a long term habit.
I had been thinking for a while I wanted to cut back my drinking. I found myself drinking nearly every day. Feeling like garbage the majority of the time. And not even really enjoying the drinks I was consuming. I love wine. But the wine wasn’t even tasting good anymore. I just kept drinking it though. Because, I love wine! I can’t be a person that loves wine, if I don’t even think it tasted good anymore! I don’t know if I thought I could drink so much of it I’d like it more or what my brain was thinking. I knew my body was signaling me to give it a rest.
Naturally, I went another 2 or 3 months before seriously considering taking some time off the wine. Bad habits can be hard to break sometimes. Habits are automatic. Get off work, get a drink, make dinner. It took me literal months to interrupt that habit.
Months.
First I had to recognize the automation. I had to recognize that many actions triggered my mind to think I needed alcohol and start redirecting those triggers. Getting off work didn’t have to mean I get a drink. The trigger of getting off work was more a need to shut my mind off for a minute. To regroup and shift from work to home. This is especially tricky because I have been working from home for a year.
Once I started to recognize the triggers, I started to realize that I was not able to easily control or shift them away from drinking. I chose to not judge this. Not judging myself for this was a very important step. I could have easily gotten very hard on myself for not being able to just stop drinking. Instead, I chose to see it for what it was. A very unhealthy, unconscious habit. Which just meant I needed to take a little more drastic measures to find a healthier habit to replace it.
That’s when Dry February was decided to be a must.
Why not Dry January, you may be asking? 2 reasons.
Because everyone does Dry January and that alone is reason enough for me to not do something.
February has 3 less days January. Duh, obvious choice. Set myself up for success here!
The first few days were a little rough and the first weekend is always the hardest. But I made it through both with only slight desire to dig into the Fireball; the only alcohol left in the house due to its less appealing cocktail options.
I knew I wasn’t going to stop drinking forever. That’s unrealistic for me. I LOVE WINE, remember???? And I love cocktails! I enjoy the social aspects of having a drink.
My goal was to interrupt and redirect the HABIT of drinking and make my drinking intentional & purposeful.
I made it a 28 full days with zero alcohol. A feat I have only done one other time probably since I became drinking age.
I celebrated by having far too many mimosas in one day and remembering precisely why I wanted to stop drinking in the first place.
So. Total mission accomplished.
I can truthfully say, I know longer am habitually reaching for alcohol based on any of the aforementioned triggers. And I have exactly no desire to go out and get drunk. No, that doesn’t mean once I am out enjoying a couple cocktails, I might make some poor choices and indulge a little too much. Which I preemptively forgive myself for.
The important thing is that if I do that, the possibility will have been heavily analyzed prior to and appropriate preparation made. i.e. No drinking on school nights.
